November 07, 2015

  • 8 Simple Rules For Choosing a Date Spot in NYC

YourNeighborhood is proud to launch our newest column, Date Night with Dr. Mike, which will cover ANY and ALL topics related to dating and the single life. Have a topic you want our esteemed dating columnist to cover? Send us a note and we'll write about it!

8 Simple Rules For Choosing a Date Spot in NYC

By Dr. Mike

  1. Make it convenient: Pick a place convenient for both parties.  Ask which part of the city works best.  If one of you will have to use the subway, then pick a place near a major artery (maybe one of the places highlighted in this column).  If the first date was near you, then make the second one near him/her.
  2. Be flexible: Offer to let the other person pick the place.  If they have a place in mind they will be happy to suggest it.  This will add to that person’s comfort level and help you discover new dating locales for the future.  (You don’t need home field advantage anyway… because frankly you’re awesome!!!) 
  3. Always have an ace:  If they bounce the choice of date locale back to you, no need to put them on the spot, just use this excellent guide to come up with a winning date place.
  4. Gauge the situation:  If this is a 1st or 2nd date then dinner at Per Se might be overwhelming.  You don’t want to scare them off or make them feel like they owe you something.  And if it’s a 3rd or 4th date then going to a bar for yet another cocktail might start to get old.  Dinner or perhaps even an adventure may be in order.
  5. Gauge your audience:  Don’t invite a vegetarian for steak, and for gosh sakes don’t dine outdoors with an albino.  Proposing drinks or coffee is usually a pretty safe bet.  But don’t assume (s)he drinks (or at least not as heavily as you do… I mean really did you need that 3rd cocktail with lunch).  Have a few coffee spots in mind just in case.  And if you’re dating a Mormon… well just about everybody loves ice cream.  Learn their likes; look suave when you suggest the perfect museum date or mini-golf excursion.
  6. Know where you’re going:  I know, I know… you have Google Maps.  But that’s not what I’m talking about here.  Make sure you choose someplace crowded enough that it isn’t creepy, but quiet enough that you can have a real conversation.  This goes especially for first dates, after all, that’s your first chance to make an impression and to learn about each other. 
  7. Have a contingency plan:   If it goes poorly you can always leave early.  But who wouldn’t love you?  In the event that it goes well, it’s always shrewd to know of a second good place nearby (and I’m not talking about your couch – see #8).  Naturally, you may want to escalate from drinks to dinner, or from dinner to dancing, or from dancing to -- well I’m not really sure there’s anything more serious than that, maybe bowling?
  8. Take it easy:  You may have hopes of finishing the evening at your place, (or theirs, apparently some homeless people live like that from day-to-day, beware) but if you really think there might be something real, wait till at least the 3rd date to show them your apartment.  Would you really want to be with someone who would sleep with a stranger anyway? (don’t answer that)  Some smooching on the first or second date is well and good, and perhaps even expected if it goes well.  But just hang tight, let them come to you and it will all happen in time.  And at the very least please don’t pick the bar across the street from your apartment!

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